The Toronto Maple Leafs Suck

I am a hardcore Montreal Canadiens fan which means that I think the Toronto Maple Leafs are an absolute joke. I won't get into the gory details (42 years without a championship) but I am about to snap at this hockey club and their fans.

The NHL season opens tomorrow night with the Leafs and the Canadiens, fittingly, opening up the season. For the last 2 weeks, my blood has been boiling.

Why?

The Toronto Maple Leafs bandwagon is being jumped on hard, especially by the media and the Leaf fans. What's worse is that I hear more and more "experts" saying that the Leafs will make the playoffs and finish BETTER than the Canadiens. Just reading that statement makes me want to puke all over the place.

The Leafs are coming off another season where they missed the playoffs. 4 straight years they have missed the postseason. A reason for this media hype is that the Leafs got tougher by adding a few free agents including big defenseman Francois Beauchemin and Mike Komisarek.

Komisarek has been a Canadien for the last 6-7 years and decided to jump ship to the rival Leafs over the off-season which is another reason for my hatred towards this year's Toronto squad. And from watching Komisarek last year, he is OVERRATED. The guy played like absolute garbage last year and can't skate or shoot. He just uses his body to pulverize people smaller than him and when someone his size steps up to challeng him, here's what happens (Komisarek is in the white jersey):



So now that we're led to believe that this team is tougher, how about putting the puck in the net. Oh wait, they have jack shit for scoring. Recently, they made a trade for young Phil Kessel from Boston, who scored 30+ goals last year. Now this seems good for the Leafs but there's a few problems:

1)He's out until November after undergoing rotator cuff surgery in the summer

2)The only reason he scored that many goals in Boston last year was because he was playing with a bunch of other star players in Boston who could get hiim the puck. Toronto has nobody. Phil Kessel will not score 25 goals this year and will be lucky to get 20.

If you look at their roster, you'll be hard-pressed to find a forward who has a shot at scoring 20 goals this year other than Kessel. I can look at the roster of every other team in the Eastern Conference and pick out 3-4 guys who are accomplished goal scorers. Not the Leafs

So are you convinced this is a playoff team?

Their goaltending situation consists of Vesa Toskala, who is not a top-20 goalie in the NHL. But apparently, they have brought in the goaltending savior in some Swedish goofball named Jonas Gustavsson. He has thrived in the Swedish League, which is fine and good, but has yet to play in the NHL. The caliber of players in the NHL are a little different from the Swedish League. So don't tell me this guy is God, ok TSN?

I would be willing to bet a significant amount of money with anyone from anywhere that this team will miss out on the playoffs. Guaranteed. If not for the Islanders, this team would be riding the bottom of the Eastern Conference.

So get ready, Leafs fans, because tomorrow, the Canadiens are going to steamroll you.

6-1 Montreal.

"Come to Penn State!!!"

I had to put this commercial on the blog. I'm not quite sure if I've ever laughed and been so scared at the same time. This commercial is a bunch of American College Football coaches talking about their school to hopefully recruit talented kids to come and play for them.

The really old guy with the glasses is Joe Paterno, the coach of the Penn State Nittany Lions. He is the main reason this is a classic video. We see him three times in this video. The first two times he talks are kind of funny, but when he tells the camera to "Come to Penn State" (0:59 mark), it is one of the funniest and scariest moments in commercial history.



Do I really want to come to Penn State when my coach sounds like he's gonna chop my head off? Is he trying to be funny or is that how he recruits players?

By the way, at the 0:34 mark, it took about 15 listens for me to finally figure out what he is saying. If someone can figure it out in less than 5 listens, I applaud them.

A Farewell to Sunnyvale

Today is a bittersweet day for myself. Today is the release of the Trailer Park Boys 2nd feature film "Countdown to Liquor Day". Let's introduce the Trailer Park Boys to those of you not familiar with them.

"Trailer Park Boys" is a Canadian television show seen on the Showcase Network. The show focuses on 3 guys, Ricky, Bubbles and Julian, living in Sunnyvale Trailer Park living a life of crime, drugs and liquor. They are known for their feuds with the Trailer Park Supervisor, Mr. Lahey and his assistant Randy. The show has been through 7 seasons on television and most of them end with the boys going to jail.

The show is a "mockumentary", which is a fake documentary. They are actors pretending to be in an actual documentary. The cameras follow the boys along through their everyday lives.

Why is this bittersweet for myself? Ever since Grade 8, when I first viewed this show, I have become hooked. I walk around reciting Trailer Park Boys quotes more than I should. And after today, there will be no more. After this movie, the Trailer Park Boys will officially retire.

No more barbecue stealing.

No more bottle throwing.

No more gun fights.

That's it.

They will not be making any more new episodes/specials/movies. Hopefully this leads to a spin-off or two but until then, we'll have to sit and wait.

I've never been known to cry at movies, but on this occasion, the tears may flow.








Week 3 NFL Picks

Washington over Detroit
Green Bay over St.Louis
Minnesota over San Francisco-(Lock of the Week)
New England over Atlanta
NY Jets over Tennessee
Philadelphia over Kansas City
NY Giants over Tampa Bay
Baltimore over Cleveland
Houston over Jacksonville
New Orleans over Buffalo
Chicago over Seattle
Pittsburgh over Cincinnati
Denver over Oakland-(Upset Special)
San Diego over Miami
Arizona over Indianapolis
Dallas over Carolina

Last Week: 8-8
Season: 21-11

"You double-dipped the chip!"

My favorite TV show of all-time? Like so many other people, I can't get enough of Seinfeld. It was voted the #1 TV show of all-time by TV Guide a few years back. Most people love this show but I do know a certain few who absolutely despise the sight of Jerry, George, Kramer and Elaine. In the coming weeks and months, I will be posting some of my favorite clips from the show. And for those of you not familiar with the show, maybe these clips will turn you on to "Seinfeld".

So here is today's clip. George has an encounter with another guy after he double-dips his chip.

Guaranteed NHL Predictions

The best time of year in sports is here and a major reason for that is the beginning of the NHL season. The NHL had an outstanding 2008-2009 year which ended off with a Game 7 in the Stanley Cup Finals. Hopefully for hockey fans, the players will pick up from where they left off last year. Here are my predictions for the upcoming year:

EAST

1. Philadelphia
2. Boston
3. Washington
4. Pittsburgh
5. New Jersey
6. Atlanta
7. Montreal
8. Ottawa

9. Carolina
10. Florida
11. Buffalo
12. Tampa Bay
13. NY Rangers
14. Toronto
15. NY Islanders

West

1. Anaheim
2. Chicago
3.Vancouver
4. San Jose
5. Detroit
6. St.Louis
7. Calgary
8. Edmonton

9. Nashville
10. Dallas
11. Minnesota
12. Los Angeles
13. Columbus
14. Colorado
15. Phoenix

East Final: Philadelphia over Boston

West Final: Anaheim over Chicago

Stanley Cup Final: Anaheim over Philadelphia

Anaheim's forward group is stacked. If I had to pick anybody on my team other than the Big 3 (Ovechkin, Crosby, Malkin) it would definitely be Ryan Getzlaf. He and Cory Perry are one of the best duos in the league. Add Bobby Ryan to the mix and this team will be one of the highest-scoring teams in the league. Don't forget the new Finnish connection of Teemu Selanne and Saku Koivu.

Pronger will be a huge loss on defense but Scott Niedermayer still has some game left and he's got Ryan Whitney as his second-in-command. Nobody remembers how good Ryan Whitney was in Pittsburgh, but they will soon. The rest of their D is filled with physical forces, the same way they won the Cup in 2007.

As for goaltending, it appears Jonas Hiller is the go-to guy. He had an outstanding playoffs last year and should be a Top-10 goalie in the league this year.

Remember, this team dominated the President's trophy-winning Sharks last year in the first round and forced Detroit to a Game 7 in the second round as an 8 seed.

As they did 3 years ago in 2007, The Ducks will fly high once again in June of 2010.

A "Fan" tastic Quiz

Just thought I'd throw this out there since my blog has been talking about concerts lately. This is something I wrote in April of last year, dealing with my frustration towards some concert-goers and a solution that I think will work:


Rock concerts are experiences that will leave people who attended them talking for a long time. There may not be a greater 2-3 hours of excitement. Unfortunately, they can be very hard to get into. Recently, AC/DC announced a summer date in Winnipeg and within 15 minutes of going on sale, tickets were completely sold out. Many hardcore AC/DC fans were left in the dust. Now they have been forced to miss their favourite band in action. Many major concerts feature this same type of situation. So how can we guarantee the massive fans a ticket? There's only one way to separate the "hardcores" from the "softcores". We quiz 'em.


More than a few people were screwed over by Ticketmaster the day AC/DC tickets went on sale. They made their way to Ticketmaster.ca to purchase their tickets only to be greeted by web pages that wouldn't load. By the time the pages loaded, 40,000 tickets had disappeared. The days of standing in a gigantic line to purchase tickets are long gone. You either go online, phone or take a chance by going to a Ticketmaster booth in person. The Ticketmaster booth is slowly becoming extinct for big-name concerts because of the amount of time tickets take to sell out. The price of tickets can also cause some discomfort among fans. Not everybody is loaded with cash and they're just not able to pay bills, look after kids and attend ridiculously priced concerts (see The Eagles, March 2009). Getting your hands on tickets is much more complicated than it actually seems.


I have attended 10-15 concerts in my lifetime and every concert features a group of fans who I like to call the "bandwagon" fans. Who are these people, exactly? These are the people who claim to be number 1 fans of the band but are only familiar with 2-3 songs that are overplayed on the radio. They've never bought CD's, they don't own merchandise, but they tend to think they're huge fans. They sit still for the first hour and a half of the concert, and when the band plays their hits at the end, they go wild. Which brings us back to ticket-purchasing troubles. These "fans" constantly get into arenas and stadiums for various reasons (lots of cash, fast computers) while the real fans are forced to sit at home. But with the implementation of a mini-quiz, changes will take place.

First, let's clarify this rule. The quizzes would only be used in situations where concerts are likely going to be sold out. There's really no point if there will be no sellout because nobody's getting screwed out of tickets. Recent Winnipeg sellouts have included Metallica, The Tragically Hip, Coldplay and, of course, AC/DC. Here's how the format works. It doesn't matter how the tickets are being purchased. Online, telephone or in person, the quiz will still be given out. The quiz will not be extremely hard but will involve some knowledge of the band. Three questions seems a pretty reasonable amount. Here are the questions: 1) Name 10 songs written by the band (naming 5 is just too easy), 2) Name 3 albums written by the band, 3) Name the current members of the band. Pretty simple. For the people who get these questions completely correct, they will be given first dibs at tickets as well as a $10 discount. Now for the people who get any question wrong, they will not be completely shut out of tickets, but will have to wait until the experts get theirs first. All the good seats will be taken and rightfully so. If you can't ace a simple quiz like that, then you should not consider yourself a real fan of the band.


There is no doubt that complaining would be aplenty after a decision such as this one. But it is about time that the real fans get into the concerts and get the seats that they deserve. And the bandwagon fans can get the seats that they deserve as well. On their couch at home.



Here are my Week 2 NFL selections

Atlanta over Carolina- (Lock of the Week)
Minnesota over Detroit
Green Bay over Cincinnati
Arizona over Jacksonville-(Upset Special)
Kansas City over Oakland
New England over NY Jets
New Orleans over Philadelphia
Tennessee over Houston
Washington over St. Louis
Buffalo over Tampa Bay
Seattle over San Francisco
Pittsburgh over Chicago
Denver over Cleveland
San Diego over Baltimore
Dallas over NY Giants
Indianapolis over Miami

Last Week: 13-3
Season:13-3

Tiger Woods needs some help

Tiger Woods is quite possibly the greatest golfer of all-time. But when he lets his anger get the best of him, it's quite a sight. When he mishits his shot, you'll almost always hear him drop the "g-damn" word, he'll drop and throw his clubs, and he'll make a big spectacle. The weirdest thing is that nobody says anything. Not the announcers, not the fans, they just accept it.

A lot of average golfers can relate to his anger because sometimes golf can make us lose our minds. But he is on the PGA TOUR. This is where golfers are supposed to show the highest of etiquette. But there's Tiger screaming and slamming his club on the ground. He is the only golfer doing this sort of stuff. If this was some regular PGA golfer doing these kinds of actions, announcers and crowds would lash out on the individual. But how dare anybody question the great Tiger Woods.

The funny thing is that it seems his outbursts are getting worse by the year. You think he would have matured as he got older. I watched a tournament in the summer where he screamed "g-d damnit" 5 times in about a 2-hour span. I watched him throw his driver in a bush, forcing his caddy to retrieve it. I believe he will do something really over the top one day and the media will be forced to pay attention to it.

You may be the best golfer ever, Tiger, but show some class on the course.

Now for the video evidence:

The Scariest Song of All-Time

I never thought it was possible that music could scare me until I heard this song about 7 years ago. I don't even think you can call this an actual song. It's more just random experimentation. I am talking about The Beatles' "Revolution 9" from their self-titled 1968 album. I'm sure some of you won't freak out when hearing this but don't be surprised if you do. I have been in places where people I know have actually cried during this song, no word of a lie. To make this song as scary as possible you have to follow these rules:

1) Listen to it by yourself or 1-2 other people.

2) Listen to it late at night.

I have walked home from friend's houses at 2 A.M. after listening to this song and it was the worst walk ever. I almost started to run feeling that someone was behind me. No, I wasn't on LSD. But the Beatles sure were when they wrote this. So I've hyped it up for you and here it is: the scariest song of all-time. Remember to follow the 2 rules listed above for maximum freakout.

Post-Concert Disorder

What am I talking about? It's the 48-72 hour period you experience after attending a major concert. You constantly listen to the artist over and over. They become your new favorite. At least, that's how it works with me. Why? The experience of a rock concert gives people feelings of awe and leaves them wanting more. That's why when you ask a person how the concert was, they'll respond with "best concert ever!!!" I know people that attend many concerts and the most recent one is always the best one according to them.

I just recently attended 4 Tragically Hip concerts and was actually in the second row for two of them. But I decided that none of the four were number one on my list (the second show did make it to #2 on my list, however) My favorite concert occurred in May 2008 when one of my other favourite bands, Rush, came to Winnipeg for the first time in 26 years. Tickets went on sale in January 2008 and from the moment I bought them, It was all Rush, all the time, for my music selections. By the time the big day came around, I was so pumped, it was ridiculous. Rush tore the roof of the MTS Centre and put on an amazing show. The next two days after the concert, Post-Concert Disorder reared its ugly head. I couldn't part ways with the band that I had listened to for the last 4 months. Eventually I moved on but it was very tough. My high-school English teacher attended the Eagles concert last year. The next 2 weeks, he constantly yapped about the concert and everytime we walked into class, the Eagles were on his radio. I was at the point where if I had heard "Hotel California" one more time, I would have taken his radio and smashed it to pieces.

I seemed to have battled the disorder quite well after the 4 Hip shows last week but I'm scared it may find it's way back again next month. My favourite band, Metallica, will be playing the MTS Centre on October 12th. Unlike Rush, who I listened to heavily for 4 months before their concert, I have been listening to Metallica heavily for 7 YEARS. This concert will be a dream for me but the day after will definitely be tough. 1) I'll probably be hungover and 2) I'll have to face the fact that my favourite band has come and gone and won't be back for quite a while. There will definitely be some Metallica on the IPod that day. Will it be the best concert ever? It might be, but if you want an honest answer, just wait until a week after the concert when I get over the post-concert disorder.

Link of the Week: If you're not familiar with the Tragically Hip, just watch this video if you have time. This is their most popular single, New Orleans is Sinking, with a 4-minute impromptu jam in the middle. By the way, the lead singer is not on crack, that is just his unique stage presence.



What's Next: The NHL Season begins October 1st and you can check back in the coming weeks for my NHL preview. I will also be making weekly NFL picks every Friday so if you want to make some money, make sure to stop by the blog.

Before I go, I just heard that actor Patrick Swayze has died after a long battle with pancreatic cancer. He starred in "Dirty Dancing" and "Road House". I think we'll let the boys from Sunnyvale Trailer Park give Swayze a fond farewell.

The Meeting of a Lifetime

Let's just keep this short and sweet. On Friday night, I met all 5 members of the Tragically Hip. They were kind enough to come and meet about 10 people standing outside including my friend and I. This was about two hours after they played their 4th and final show at the Centennial Concert Hall. Each band member came out individually, chatted and signed a few autographs before being taken back to their hotel (the Downtown Fairmont) in a van. I ended up taking home an autographed setlist, a backstage pass, and ears that are still ringing from four nights of rock music at it's finest.

NFL Week 1

I love making predictions for upcoming sports events and you will be seeing these throughout this blog. First up: Week 1 of the 2009 NFL season which begins tonight.

Pittsburgh over Tennessee
Indianapolis over Jacksonville
New Orleans over Detroit
Philadelphia over Carolina
Dallas over Tampa Bay
Houston over NY Jets
Kansas City over Baltimore(Upset Special)
Denver over Cincinnati
Minnesota over Cleveland
Atlanta over Miami
NY Giants over Washington
Arizona over San Francisco
Seattle over St.Louis
Green Bay over Chicago
New England over Buffalo
San Diego over Oakland(Lock of the Week)

Why would I Skip the Hip?

Tonight I will be attending the 3rd Tragically Hip concert at the Centennial Concert Hall in Downtown Winnipeg. I attended the first 2 on Monday and Wednesday and both shows were extraordinary. The 4th concert goes Friday night and, yep, I'll be there. Even though my wallet has taken a hit ($408, but who's asking?) every single penny is well-spent seeing this band. The best part of attending these concerts is the variation of setlists that the band plays each night. Last night, 16 of the 25 songs played were different than Monday's songs. This band has put out so many hits that they can virtually play anything and get a "Holy Crap" reaction from the crowd. Speaking of the crowd, last night's bunch was far more crazier than the Monday crowd. Monday featured the crowd constantly sitting and standing, not quite knowing what they were doing. Last night, people were standing the whole time, singing and dancing, a very exciting atmosphere. Even lead singer Gord Downie mentioned the differences in crowds. What should be expected tonight? Anything is possible at concerts but the lone guarantee is that the greatest band in Canadian history will, yet again, put on an unforgettable show.

(Note: Throughout this blog, we will be focusing on some of my top 10 music lists. Top 10 guitarists, albums, bands, overrated bands, Canadian bands. I can guarantee you that some of my choices are definitely puzzling for some music fans. And discussions will probably arise as a result of the lists.)

The Beginning of the End

My name is Kevin Hirschfield. I am 18 years old and am currently in the Creative Communications Program at Red River College. Kevin's Bacon will be mostly associated with sports and music. We'll talk some NFL, NHL , MLB, Golf, whatever's hot in the news. Once in a while, we'll shift towards the music scene, a concert review or two (METALLICA OCTOBER 12TH!!), thoughts on old bands, new bands, overrated and underrated musicians. Mix that in with a little bit of rage from time to time and we've got ourselves Kevin's Bacon.