Tuesday, December 22, 2009

A Holiday Look at the NFL season

As the countdown to Christmas winds down, the countdown to the NFL playoffs is just beginning. We are about 2 and a half weeks away from the beginning of the 3-week battle that will determine the Super Bowl champion.

So, with Christmas so close, let's look at some of the teams who are either in the playoffs or who are fighting for their playoff lives this year by comparing them to Christmas carols:

Cincinnati Bengals- Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer:

This team has been in the playoffs just twice since 1990 and, much like Rudolph, the rest of the NFL used to laugh and call them names while destroying them every week. But the Bengals, with their shiny toothed reciever, have gained respect from the rest of the NFL by vaulting into first place in their division. We'll see if they go down in history.

San Diego Chargers- Winter Wonderland:

Despite being as far away from snow as humanly possible, the team from San Diego seems to thrive when the month of December hits. They have won their last 17 games in December. Unreal. December of 2005 was their last loss. Sleigh bells are ringing, snow is not quite glistening in San Diego, but everyone is happy toinght, because the Chargers continue their quest towards their first Super Bowl in franchise history.

New York Jets- Santa Claus is Coming to Town

Santa Claus being the Jets QB Mark Sanchez who has thrown 20 interceptions this year, yet his team still sits in the playoff hunt. The Jets as a team have also given up a few games this year that they should have won with careless fumbles and bonehead mistakes. As long as Santa keeps on giving, opponents of the Jets won't have to pout and cry, and we don't need to tell you why.

Tennessee Titans- Grandma got run over by a Reindeer

Chris Johnson sure looks likes a reindeer sometimes as he leads the league in rushing with over 1700 yards, 400 more yards than any other back. This Titans team was 0-6, but have fought their way back to 7-7, led by Chris Johnson running over people with force.

New Orleans Saints- Let it Snow

The Saints are a lucky team. With a record of 13-1, they have yet to play a game in any sort of cold weather, mainly because they play their home games in a nice warm dome. And it looks like they will be getting home-field advantage throughout the playoffs. Which means they'll get to avoid places like Green Bay, Philadelphia and New York. The weather outside might be frightful, but the Saints dome is so delightful, and since they don't have to go anywhere else to play, well... just let it snow.

Denver Broncos- I'll Be Home for Christmas

They may not be home right at Christmas, but they'll be coming home pretty quick, because this team will get absolutely demolished by whoever they play in the first round. The worst playoff team of the year is going to sneak their way in because of a 6-0 start to their season. Since then, they have gone 2-6 and have lost some ugly games to Oakland and Washington. At least they'll be home for Ukrainian Christmas in January.

Minnesota Vikings- Frosty the Snowman

Uh oh, the Minnesota Vikings are melting. 2 of the last 3 weeks, they have been spanked by Arizona and Carolina. When you put that old silk hat (football helmet) on QB Brett Favre in September and October, he begins to dance around and throw touchdown passes. But when winter comes, Brett Favre begins to melt and he's doing it once again. Expect the Vikings to get knocked out early in the playoffs. But don't you cry Vikings fans, because he'll be back again someday. (On second thought, you probably should cry.)

Indianapolis Colts- Jingle Bells

The Colts are a team that is laughing their way through the NFL season. They are 14-0 with 2 games left in the season and trying to become just the 3rd team to finish a regular season without a loss. The one horse that is pulling their sleigh is QB Peyton Manning who is continuing to add to his already incredible resume and is beginning to be mentioned as one of the best of all-time. It must be fun for Colts players to ride in that sleigh.

Pittsburgh Steelers- I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas

QB Ben Roethlisberger, at 241 pounds, runs around the field like a hippopotamus sometimes, and has cost the Steelers some big games this year. Yet they remain at 7-7, in the thick of the playoff race. But the Steelers making the playoffs is like getting a hippopotamus for Christmas.... it's not gonna happen.

New England Patriots- The Grinch's Theme Song

Everyone's favorite team to hate is back in the New England Patriots. The same team that got caught for spying on their opponents only a few years ago. Don't be surprised if this team sneaks its way through the playoffs and comes out on top once again led by their grinch-like head coach, Bill Belichick.



Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone!!!

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