Tuesday, April 13, 2010

NHL Round 1 Spoiler Alert

First let me apologize.

It was just 5 and a half months ago that I made my preseason NHL predictions. I picked the Anaheim Ducks to win the Stanley Cup and, fittingly, they missed the playoffs. My confidence in my predictions is getting shakier by the day. I had a horrid Super Bowl and my NCAA bracket pretty much stunk (I did pick Duke, though). It makes me wonder why any of you should be reading this. Well, here's why. Hockey is my sport. It has been my favorite since I came out of the womb. I know the teams and players inside out. So listen up, and listen up good. Because I have looked at these match-ups and I am confident that the following picks are gold.

Let's begin.

EAST

#1 Washington vs #8 Montreal

Let's get this one out of the way fast. Remember, for all you viewers, I am picking with my head and not with my heart. I want to pick the Habs, I tried to find every which way. But the truth is, the Habs are one year away. You can't expect a team with all those new bodies, plus a new coach to succeed, in their first year together. But mark my words, the Montreal Canadiens are a force to be reckoned with next year.

For now, we have to listen to how great Ovechkin is with his record of 0-472 in games that actually mean something. How Mike Green is so good, even though he gets caught pinching in and the other team goes back 2 on 1 (this will happen at a crucial time in the playoffs) and how the Caps are so dangerous even though they played in the worst division in hockey where they were the only team to make the playoffs. As you can see, I hate Washington. But Montreal is just too inconsistent, and their defense is not fast enough to keep up with the offense(this is just killing me writing this). But watch out Ovechkin, once we bring P.K. Subban up next year, you're done.

Sorry boys, I have to pick Washington.

In the immortal words of Tiger Woods:



Washington in 5


#2 New Jersey vs #7 Philadelphia

Last year at around this time, I was making my playoff predictions and I looked at the Devils roster and said "This team is going to win the Stanley Cup" They have always had a great defence/goalie, but for the first time, last year, they had one of the most potent offences in the league. How could this team lose?

Well, they decided to pull off one of the all-time chokejobs in NHL history. Up 3-2 with 1:30 left in Game 7 of their first round series against Carolina, they not only allowed the tying goal, but, about 30 seconds later, let them score the go-ahead goal which was the winner. Martin Brodeur looked like Goldberg in D3 The Mighty Ducks...just brutal. And for this reason, I can't pick the Devils..ever again.

They're in the same situation as last year, lethal offense (plus Kovalchuk), solid defense, and best goaltender of all-time. But the only images in my mind of Marty Brodeur are Game 7 last year, and the Olympics this year, where he ran around like a decapitated chicken against the U.S. The end is near for Marty Brodeur. And is Ilya Kovalchuk going to improve this team that much? After all, he has made the playoffs once in his 9 year career and has 0 playoff wins. As far as I am concerned, this Devils team is the same as last year. And that's why I'm picking Philly.

It doesn't help poor Marty that Richards, Carter, Briere, Gagne will be firing pucks at him and that Chris Pronger will be pulling his dirty tricks as usual. Philly is a rough team and I don't think this Devils team can hold them off for 7 games.


Philadelphia in 7


#3 Buffalo vs #6 Boston

I think Boston has been a complete joke this year and was lucky to get in the playoffs. Nobody talks about Buffalo even though they were a point out of 2nd place. They have the best current goalie in the league and that's more than enough to stop the Boston Bruins, who have zilch for scoring. I'm still confused as to how they were first in the East last year. In the words of my friend Jorden Arbour, "It was a fluke season!!"" Indeed it was.

Buffalo in 6


#4 Pittsburgh vs #5 Ottawa

Pittsburgh is really dangerous. Like really, really dangerous. Crosby is coming off a share of the "Rocket Richard" trophy and has pretty much won everything at the age of 22. Virtually the same cast and crew as last year that won the Cup, they will be tough to beat these playoffs.

But in all honesty, would you pick a team with this guy on it?


Didn`t think so....


Pittsburgh in 6


West

#1 San Jose vs #8 Colorado

The Sharks have to be sick of finishing first and getting kicked out in the first and second round every year, don`t they? This team is once again stacked and once again was the best in the west this year. Fortunately for them, they are playing Colorado who is just happy to be playing meaningful hockey in April again. The Sharks have had trouble feasting on opponents in past playoffs, but they are going to start off the 2010 playoffs by taking a massive bite out of the Avs.

San Jose in 5


#2 Chicago vs #7 Nashville

Chicago is being compared to the Oilers of the 80s, minus the cocaine usage.
The Predators are an unappreciated bunch, led by star defenseman Shea Weber, whose shot is so solid, that Lee Harvey Oswald would be impressed. I think the Preds have a really good chance at shooting down the Hawks but ultimately, the Hawks have too much talent on the front line.

Chicago in 7


#3 Vancouver vs #6 Los Angeles

The Sedin twins pretty much have the talent to embarrass whoever they want, as showcased in their season finale against Calgary.


I think the Kings are a year or two away from being really good but not quite yet. I get dizzy watching Drew Doughty do that same spin move over and over again.

Vancouver in 6

#4 Phoenix vs #5 Detroit

I can't think of a single person who will pick Phoenix in this one. The two-time defending Western Conference champions, still considered a powerhouse taking on a Coyotes team who, despite having a solid year, is in financial peril and may not even be in Phoenix next year. Who' s actually going to pick the Coyotes in this one? Wait, I do know someone.

Me.

Now before you grab your inhaler, let me explain. You see, you can write off the 'Yotes all you want, the fact of the matter is Ilya Bryzgalov is a top-3 goalie in the league this year, their trade deadline acquisitions of Wolski and Stempniak solidified this team even more, and their D is surprisingly one of the best and most experienced in the league. It's no fluke that they finished with the 4th best record in the NHL.

I think Detroit has a number of problems.

1) They don't have home-ice advantage, meaning they'll have to go out west for 3, possibly 4 games with a crowd of 19,000(hopefully) screaming Coyotes fans trying to keep their team in Phoenix. This Wings team is aging. We all know that old people don't like a lot of noise. Will they be able to hear themselves over the desperate Phoenix crowd?

2) Phoenix's forward depth is a heck of a lot deeper than the Red Wings. Datsyuk and Zetterberg can only play for so long before they hand off the reigns to superstars(???) Patrick Eaves and Drew Miller .

I will argue anybody 0ver this. Phoenix has better depth at forward, defense, and has the better goalie. How can you not pick them?

Phoenix in 7


I`m hoping for a solid 6-2 record to start off these playoffs.

If not, I might have to tell myself that I suck. You know, like Tiger Woods did.



So I think there`s 2 things that we should wish for as the playoffs begin:

1) That all teams compete hard and give us a memorable first round.

2) That Alex Ovechkin tears his ACL, MCL and PCL



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